application

I was walking with Molly to the memorial. Her dad and brother had died.
She had spent the night and I am currently in the night time rhythm of reading some cool quotes about Jesus that inspire me, so we had read a Fredrick Dougless quote that read “I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.”

Now it was probably 1 am by the time we had calmed our giggling and crying and settled down to bed so we were pretty tired and emotionally fried as we walked to the memorial. We were quiet as we got closer.

Memorials in the park are held by getting really drunk and writing a note on something to remember them by.

“Jesus,” I began to pray “please keep everyone safe today, and keep alcohol away from this memorial.” Molly laughed. I glared at her- “what- I can pray for a miracle.” I responded. “Maybe we should start praying with our hands” she responded.
I smiled.

Merry Christmas from Jashobeam

Jashobeam is our angel on our tree this year.
He is named after one of David's mighty men, and loves to sing punk-rock christmas songs.

-paul

Thanksgiving 2009

This was our thnxgvng crew this year.  and here are some more pics from the day...

you can buy these beads...email me if you're interested :)

On Mt. Tam

So this is us on the top of mt. tam!
It was windy and cold.  we were celebrating luke, courtney, and claire finishing their novitiate commitment.
Top row, L to R: Jess, Mariah, Corrina, Courtney, Jacob, Claire
Bottom: Paul, Luke, Weston

Tattoos hurt.
But they are art so we bare with it for the result.
The artist (hopefully if all went well) brags to friends about how fast and sharp he threw up the piece on your arm.
“Nah, the pain wasn’t that bad. Only 6 hours of work.” You respond to the inquiries hoping for that nod of affirmation that -yes, you are a bad ass.

Allowing Jesus to work on us hurts.
It is uncomfortable.
He may brag to the angels how great we are doing, how proud he is of us but we don’t come out looking like a bad ass, at least not to our eyes.

I am on a solitude retreat right now.
Sitting still.
Allowing God to work on me.
Show me pieces of me I never knew were there.
Lousy prison tats.
He is doing a clean up job.
And it is beautiful.
When I go home I am sure I will complain.
I won’t like the colors he chose.
It should be a little smaller or more to the right.
But that is a slam on his art.
And he only does perfect work.

So I will go back.
I will bite a sock and ask for more.
Lay out on that plastic table.
Awkward, half naked and a little scared
and ask,
What are you thinking now Jesus?
I am ready.




Tiny pricks on my skin
The ink sinks in
The blood rises
I am a masterpiece
Of my Fathers hand.

mother teresa is cool

release

as they fall

I’m reminded

of their refreshing role

to express deep

and complex things

their ability

to communicate far beyond words

they respond to that inside

their droplets of beauty

which  washover my face

renew a needful heart

I lose to them

coming under their release

they stream down

with each one that falls

I remember your care

I know you see them

they were stored for years

believing they represented weakness

acknowledging I have needs

I need you Jesus

in disbelief, mourning, joy, and sadness

I need you

I need you to pour from me

fill me, come closer to me and move inside of me

its wonderful to be reminded

apart from you i cannot stand

my life comes from you

you alone make things right

I see these things in tears

not spelled out

but in a mysterious way

like your kingdom

continue to come my tears

saturate this heart

that is yours and in great need